Getting Unstuck: How to Break Free from Destructive Habits and Embrace a Fresh Start

Not too long ago, I was picking up my daughter when something caught my eye—tiny green bulbs poking up through the soil. Just a sliver of green, barely visible, but enough to make me stop and smile.

Spring was coming.

And with it? A reminder: new beginnings are always possible.

Spring represents fresh starts, rebirth, and hope. It’s nature’s way of saying, “Try again.” And that tiny green sprout reminded me that we don’t have to stay stuck. We can begin again. Not on January 1st. Not when the timing is perfect. Not when the stars align.

But now.

What Does It Mean to Be Stuck?

Being stuck isn’t just about feeling lost—it’s about doing the same things over and over, even though they hurt us or keep us small.

It’s baking cookies at midnight to numb the anxiety. It’s hitting snooze on our dreams. It’s promising ourselves we’ll start tomorrow... for the hundredth time.

Being stuck means we’re repeating a cycle that doesn’t serve us anymore.

And if we want to live fuller, freer lives, we have to break that cycle.

The Wasp Nest: A Lesson We Keep Repeating

Let me tell you a story.

A few summers ago, my family was camping near a creek. The kids were laughing, splashing in the water, soaking in the joy of being young and carefree.

Until one of my nephews—14 years old and old enough to know better—found a wasp nest and thought it would be smart to poke it with a stick.

You know what happened next. Mayhem.

Kids running, screaming, getting stung. My nephew had seven stings. My daughter had two. And I stood there thinking…

Why would anyone poke a wasp nest?

But then I realized—we all do it.

Every time I turn to sugar to calm stress, knowing it’ll only make me feel worse... I’m poking the wasp nest.

Every time we return to the same unhealthy habits or relationships, knowing the outcome is pain... we’re poking the wasp nest.

We know better. But we do it anyway.

Step One: Identify What’s Keeping You Stuck

The first step to getting unstuck is getting honest.

What habits or beliefs are keeping you small?

Sometimes we think we’re stuck because of laziness, but more often it’s habit. It’s autopilot. It’s comfort. Nobody explains this better than James Clear. He and tells us how to ditch habits and adopt new ones. If you haven't read it yet...or maybe it's time for a re-read. You can get a copy here (*paid link)

For me, turning to food for comfort was deeply ingrained. I associated stress relief with baking—because that’s what I’d always done. I was feeding emotion, not hunger.

To change, I had to name it. I had to say, “This doesn’t serve me anymore.”

You have to know what’s hurting you before you can heal it.

Why We Stay Stuck: Habit, Belief, and Avoidance

We don’t get stuck out of nowhere. There are reasons:

1. Habit

Like the woman who always cut the end off her roast—until she found out her mom only did it because her pan was too small. So many of us do things simply because... it’s how we’ve always done them.

Ask yourself: Is this habit actually helping me?

2. Avoidance

Sometimes we avoid making a change because it’s uncomfortable. We know we should exercise, but it’s easier to scroll. We want to eat better, but fast food is familiar.

3. Core Beliefs

This one runs deep. I believed for years that I wasn’t worthy of love. That belief shaped so many painful choices—relationships, self-sabotage, emotional eating.

And here’s the hard truth: until we rewrite the stories we believe about ourselves, we will stay stuck repeating them.

Step Two: Replace the Habit

You can’t just remove a habit. You have to replace it.

Don’t leave a void.

Instead of baking when stressed, I reach for a healthier snack.

Or I crochet. Or I call a friend. Or I walk.

Instead of scrolling, I journal.

Instead of staying up late, I commit to a nighttime routine that supports my morning goals.

Tiny shifts. Big impact.

And when you succeed—celebrate it. I use beads and jars to mark every small win. After 30 days, I make a bracelet to wear as a reminder: I’m doing it. I’m changing.

Step Three: Reframe the Struggle

If you’re dragging your feet on a goal, ask yourself: Do I actually want this? Or do I just feel like I should want it?

I struggled to build an exercise habit until I stopped connecting it to weight loss. I reframed it as part of my mental health healing. Suddenly, it wasn’t about punishment. It was about peace.

If you’re resisting a habit, reframe the why.

Step Four: Heal the Beliefs

You are not lazy. You’re not weak, but maybe you are wounded.

And wounded people form beliefs to protect themselves. Beliefs like:

I’m not good enough.

I don’t deserve love.

I’ll never change.

But those beliefs? They’re not truths. They’re stories you’ve outgrown.

Healing your beliefs is just as important as breaking habits. In fact, it might be the foundation.

Step Five: Get On Board

Now, this might be the most important part: you have to get on board.

I learned this lesson—literally—on a fish processing boat in Alaska.

Long story short, I was walking up a plank to the ship, and I didn’t realize how unstable it was. Right as I took the last step, the plank slipped. I ended up wedged between the ship and the plank, dangling over icy waters.

It wasn’t until someone pulled me up that I realized how close I was to serious danger.

The lesson?

You can’t stay on the plank.

You have to step fully onto the ship.

Wishing and hoping and "sort of trying" won’t get you where you want to go. You have to be all in.

No more excuses.

No more “just one more time.”

No more permission to stay stuck.

It’s time to move forward.

Spring Means a Fresh Start—So Take It

Whether it’s spring outside or just spring in your spirit, this is your sign:

Start again. Right now.