Is Life Really Unfair?

Sometimes life feels really unfair. It feels like we've been handed more than our share of troubles, heartache, and challenges. And then we look around, and it seems like other people are thriving—like life is just easy for them. That can lead to the inevitable question: Why is everything so hard for me? What’s wrong with me? Why does it feel like no matter how hard I try, I just can’t catch a break? That line of thinking can be exhausting, and yet, it’s one so many of us fall into. And when we stay stuck there, it can feel like an endless cycle, a loop of frustration and pain that’s impossible to break free from.

I found myself stuck in that mindset just a few days ago. It hit me hard, and I really struggled with it. The weight of my thoughts felt overwhelming, and I couldn’t seem to shake the feeling that I was constantly fighting an uphill battle. Every time I thought I was making progress, something else would happen that would knock me back down. It felt like the world was against me, like I was doomed to a life of struggle no matter what I did. So today, I want to talk about this: Is life unfair? Do some of us really have it harder than others? And if so, what can we do about it? Because if we don’t address these questions, we risk staying stuck in a mindset that only brings more suffering.

My name is Karoline, and I’m in the middle of a complete life transformation. A couple of years ago, everything fell apart for me due to a major health crisis, and I haven’t fully recovered—especially from the financial devastation that followed. That crisis forced me to take a long, hard look at my life. I saw things that were out of alignment, things that should have been happening but weren’t. I’ve known this for a while, but I finally realized that it all comes down to my mindset. It’s about the way I see myself, the way I see the world, and the beliefs I’ve carried for so long. And when I started questioning those beliefs, I realized just how much they had been shaping my experiences without me even knowing it. It was a wake-up call, one that completely shifted the way I look at life.

One of those beliefs? That I’m a victim. That life is picking on me. That, no matter what I do, I’ll always struggle more than others. And I know I’m not alone in feeling this way. So many of us have internalized the idea that we are simply unlucky, that we were born into circumstances that make it impossible to thrive. But what if that’s not true? What if we actually have more power than we think?

But I’ve been working on my mindset. I’ve been learning about how we shape our own reality. The way we think, even subconsciously, is constantly attracting and repelling things in our lives. And in my case, I’ve been drawing in a lot of negativity while pushing away the good. Learning that my thoughts play such a huge role in my life has been eye-opening. But still—when I think about my past, my childhood, and everything I’ve had to endure, it doesn’t feel fair. It feels like the deck was stacked against me before I even had a chance to play. And knowing that my thoughts have shaped my reality only makes me more determined to shift them—to start thinking in a way that empowers me rather than holds me back.

I was born into a difficult situation. My childhood was rough. I’ve come to understand that I have what’s called complex PTSD—trauma that happens over and over again, becoming a constant presence in life. And because of that trauma, I developed beliefs about myself that weren’t true. Beliefs that told me I wasn’t good enough. That I wasn’t worthy of love or success. That I was always going to struggle because that’s just how life was for me. And I carried those beliefs into adulthood, unconsciously allowing them to dictate my choices, my relationships, and my self-worth.

Beliefs like: I don’t deserve love. I don’t deserve happiness, health, wealth, or security. That good things were meant for other people, not for me. That no matter how hard I tried, I would always end up back where I started. And those beliefs became my reality because I was living in alignment with them.

And because I believed those things, I lived them out. If I believed I wasn’t worthy of love, I pushed love away. If I believed I was destined to fail, I sabotaged myself. I lived out my faulty beliefs over and over again. And that led me to wonder—how is that fair? If our early experiences set us up for struggle, how do we break free from that cycle? Is there even a way out?

If you start life already struggling, and then those struggles lead to even more struggles, isn’t that like getting kicked when you’re already down? It feels impossible to pull yourself up when every step forward seems to come with an even bigger setback. It’s exhausting, and it can make even the smallest victories feel insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

That thought overwhelmed me the other night. I knew it wasn’t a productive way to think, but I was stuck. I couldn’t sleep, so I decided to get up and pray. I poured my heart out to Heavenly Father, asking why life seems so unbalanced. Why do some people get a head start while others are barely scraping by from day one? Why do some people seem to attract opportunities while others fight for every little win? I was desperate for answers, for some kind of clarity that would help me make sense of everything.

As I prayed, I felt peace, even though I didn’t have my answer yet. The next day, I was driving with my son, and we started talking about one of his friends—a boy who loves tennis but was recently diagnosed with a heart condition. Because of his condition, he can no longer play singles, only doubles. And it’s devastating for him because he loves being active. This boy had spent years working on his skills, and in an instant, his future in the sport completely changed.

I told my son, “That just seems so unfair.” That word again—unfair. Why does the kid who loves moving and playing get stuck with the heart condition, while another kid who doesn’t care about activity can go about his life without an issue? Why do some people get dealt the hardest cards while others seem to skate through life with ease?

And then, in that moment, the answer hit me.

Challenges are part of our growth. They shape us. They refine us. Even though it’s hard, even though it doesn’t seem fair, challenges push us to become the best versions of ourselves. This boy with the heart condition—he’s going to grow from this. He’s going to learn things about himself, develop resilience, and build strength he wouldn’t have gained otherwise. And I realized—that’s exactly what’s happening in my life, too. Every challenge I’ve faced has forced me to grow in ways I never would have otherwise. Every struggle has taught me something, made me stronger, and prepared me for what’s ahead.

So keep going. Keep growing. Keep believing that a better life is possible. Because it is.

Take care of yourself, Karoline